After reading another post by Courageous (on the private FB page), I was surprised by the number of women who had the same issue that had responded to her post. A good number of them said that to get help, they had been, or were currently, in some kind of professional therapy. I wasn’t surprised by the fact that they had the same issue and had gone the therapy route (being no stranger myself to these things), but by how many women so quickly came forward to talk about it publicly. I’m just beginning to understand (having begun only recently to seriously follow posts on this FB page), that this level of honesty and openness is due to the environment of this FB group whose purpose is to provide a safe place to ask, discuss and learn. I thought about how these responders were representative of hundreds more women who are part of this FB group and are looking for help. I also thought about what I would have given to have had a place like this to dialogue when I was passing through long periods of the same kind of emotional and psychological pain in my life.
Courageous gave me permission to repeat here on my blog what she wrote:
For women who have been told how to feel their whole lives (thank you comp theology) what path did you take to heal and start trusting your perceptions and emotions as valid?
I always concern myself with feeling that I’m being overly sensitive, to emotional, not tough enough. I rely heavily on others to validate my feelings.
It’s a stress I want out of my life.
I want to believe in myself that my perceptions are real.
Is that even a possibility?
After the multiple comments by other women that followed her post, Courageous replied:
Good heavens is this not enough to tell people comp theology is horrible!
Its bad for men!
It’s bad for women!
It’s sending our brothers and sisters to therapy to heal deeply cut wounds, for crying out loud this is crazy!!
I’m more convinced now than ever that comp theology is a corruption, an undoing of the work Jesus did on the cross.
It does not bear good fruit.
It’s cannot be from God!
I so appreciate all of you this group has been tremendous
I feel like this is what the body of Christ is meant to do.
Use our gifts to edify comfort and exhort.
Brothers and sisters we are all prophesying the way Joel the prophet said we would.
Here is what I wrote on the FB page in response to her post:
I think God gave us feelings to help us realize that something isn’t right. The Bible says be angry and sin not. (One of my favorite verses.) That verse helped me realize that being angry or upset about something that isn’t right, is a good thing. It’s healthy and has a protective function. It also helped me realize that I needed to learn how to properly handle (respond to, use) my anger–without sinning. That set me on a search in the Bible for how to properly handle anger. I remember journaling what I learned about this. I think I will track that down and post it on my blog.
One other thing… on my long journey, I have had help dealing with my feelings–from friends, from a Christian counselor, from hymns and songs, psalms, bible encouragement verses, etc. These all helped me survive, but never really solved my deepest problem: what the Bible said about women. I had to avoid “those” passages or risk sliding backwards into feelings of condemnation, etc. In other words, what has mattered to me first and foremost as a Christian is that I honor my Savior in the way I live. As a young person, God showed me that the right and safe path was found in His Word: “Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.” I took that strongly to heart, and I think that is why He was able to eventually put me on the “lemons to grapes” path. Today my mind is settled on the truth of everyone of “those” passages, and that has brought an end to double-mindedness … and all the stress that comes along with it.
When I went back to my journals—in order to follow through and write on my blog about handling anger without sinning—I found that I had a lot of material in this vein, both theological and experiential (mostly personal failures, i.e., learning the hard way). I realized that if I wanted to do justice to this topic on my blog, it would be more than a one-post endeavor. So, my decision, at least for now, is to write several posts about this, while I also continue to put out the Lemon explanations. I hope to have the first “anger/no sin” post ready soon.